Changing my MASK ...!!!!

hahaha...okie ..so today is the 1st of december....(my head says WHO CARES) ...anyway...life has been low since the past 2 weeks ...and i have been in this weird phrase where i donno what can help me from falling into the darker holes of LIFE ....When u reach a point where trying your best is olso not enough you kind off loose hope ....loose hope in life....loose hope in love...and loose hope on the person u where willing to give your lifes keys 2 ....!!!!!!well i havent reached succha high point ....bt ya i cn say i would have ....Im still trying to do all the right things to save my ship from sinking....I think i have given sacrifice a new meaning ...i have never been super selfless and worldly ...ever....but for the first time in my life i have literally felt like putting everything on stake just for one *moronic craziee super blonde jerk* ....!!!!!i wont say IM IN LOVE or any crap like that ....cause i am no one to define the boundraries on love...and i am sure love is not this ...cause what i have read of it ...love is meant to be beautiful and sacred ...this *out of mind and body experience* is neither of the 2 ....haha ...actually its far from that...its ugly and negative...jealous and suspicious...!!!!!It has made me see a whole new aspect of my ever changing persona...!!!But whatever this feeling is ...it is compelling me to change...to try and do things that some other IDOT whats me to do...it is making me evolve...!!!hahah..i guess by the end of this entire LIFE CHANGING PROCESS...i will be a lil less hyper ...more clear and a lil more understanding of circumstances and how to react 2 them ...than before...!!!!!well that is for time to tell and me to desipher...!!!!!
apart frm my crises situation that has entered in my lifes twisted tale....there are other big things happening for everyone in my family...my mom is on a high ...it seems like she is floating on a differnt plant of CONSCIOUSNESS...and m super happie for her ....!!!!!my dad on the other hand is finally going to complete his *dream project* so hes on sum other planet....
the onli person who is lying low at the moment is me ...and i cnt even show it ....cause m supposed to be the ETERNALLY EXCITED IN LIFE drama queen...!!!!so well as i wear my mask and play my role ....u go try and find where the real you lies...:)...!!!!!love and light ...

FROM DARK TO THE LIGHT :!!!!!!!!

How often is it that u have felt ...!!!!!what is this life if full of care ...we have no time to stand and stare..!!!!hahaha...well if u were part of this mad mess that i call BMM this thought would not even have the time to cross yur mind....sooooo all the CRAZIEENESS of the upcoming exams ...realli got to us ..(my classmates and i)...since none of us realli had the time or inclination to study during the ongoing semester....which was packed wid projects..and festivals and random other *amazing* experiences i will not divulge into ...!!!!!!sooooooo 1 week prior to the D-day ...i tell myself *u have to strt studying ....its far toooo late bt time has come u do some damage control*..however ME being the stubborn...self obsessed ..and super overconfident bout my supposedly superhuman capabilities freak that i am ...did not listen to this suggestion that my practical self gave..and i waited for the last nite be4 the exam to acctually open the books....!!!!!!ovio apart from my STUPIDITY .....the extreme pain and suffering that life was inflicting on me for no fault of mine did not exactly help keep my mind focused since my soul and heartbeat was rotting in some other planet in the deep dark alter universe i call *hollow land*...!!!!!i was living but was not breathing..... i was laughing but i could not feel the warmth .....i was crying but i could not feel the tears spilling down my face....!!!!!I was literally ZOMBIEFIED for a week and a half....in the middle of this creepy zombieness came the exams....hahahaha...well i cn say that no one could notice the change in me since everyone in my superexcited supercharged world were also in a low phrase since most of us *opened our books after almost 7 months ....feeling that our brains have forgotten to grasp information*....bt i guess the human brain did not fail us...!!!!!the papers as usual were WTF....bt hopefuly we shall OVERCOME ...:P.....semester 1 is drawing to a closure tomorro wid our practicles ...!!!!!!!soooooo apart from that celebration of crossing a milestone ....i am also celebrating the return of *normality*.....the storm that flooded my head and heart for the last 10 dayz has also passed and now everything is back to the way it was....hopefuly it will remain like this for a long long time before i have to pass another obstacle examination...!!!!:P:P:P.....sooooooo as i enter a new *old* pharse of life and opportunities....u go and look for one thing that u have achieved or overcome in the past month......!!!!!!till next time...that the sun shines ...xoxo...cheers :P