WAITING....!!!!!

Most of us have read books that end with a happily ever after ....bt have we ever thought what happens after that ...what happens after all the love dies out...cause i can assure u ...love is NOT ever lasting or immortal....!!!!!Just like every decade has a new CLASSIC ...or anthem ....and the old ones are left behind the human mind also has a habit of running towards greener pastures .!!!!! Some times i wonder how life changes over nite....some CHAMPU becomes a hero...and the reigning king falls to an all time low...!!!!One moment u thought life was better than perfect and the next minute everything is destroyed just in a flash of light...!!!!A few weeks ago my life changed .....and without a warning ...bt i guess change normally knocks ur door when u least expect it ...!!!anyway in My search for answers and reasons.....i came across an ability in me wich i didnt knw exsisted ....the ability to see the brighter side even in the darkest days .....after all the typical * bla bla ...why me ..and how could this happen to me * ....i started seeing all that has not happened to me and how i should be thankful for that ...!!!!How even though what i want is not with me ....i am still not alone ...!!!! I still have sooooo many other things which * planet earth * does not have ...!!!! But even being super optimistic does not necessarily keep the monsters of the DARK nites away....Humans have been given this fuk ol thing called feelings and sentiments...how i wsh we didnt have tht...cause that is what makes us pine and hope and try till we die for things that are not in our hands...!!!!!It makes us believe in happy endings and roses and butterflies ...and shuts down a remote posibility of rational thought...!!!!!It has the ability to make us feel handicapped and retarded ....like the remote control of or life is in someone elses hands and we cnt even fight to get it back...!!!!So at such a time all u can do is wait....!!!! Wait something we have been hearing since we were children..... Wait for the right time ... Wait for a new beginning... Wait for the timeee....when u will be set free... Set free of anxiety....torture ...sentiments ...emotions ...and all these other human traits when all we will be is a ray of bright light floating somewhere in the horizon..all these worldly wants and nessecities ...which make us weak.. according to me are of no use ...god knows why we were bestowed wich these additional burdens to complicate our lives beyond our reach....!!!!!! So as i wait like a human robot for my remote control to get repaired and modified .....and for my HAPPILY EVER AFTER (i never said i was not *typically mortal* ) Planet earth go and try to give up on mortality and try embracing the rational thought process..and pray for humans like me who are still not independent from FANTASY AND love...!!!!! LOVE AND LIGHT ....srishti...:):)< 3<3

WAITING....!!!!!

Changing my MASK ...!!!!

hahaha...okie ..so today is the 1st of december....(my head says WHO CARES) ...anyway...life has been low since the past 2 weeks ...and i have been in this weird phrase where i donno what can help me from falling into the darker holes of LIFE ....When u reach a point where trying your best is olso not enough you kind off loose hope ....loose hope in life....loose hope in love...and loose hope on the person u where willing to give your lifes keys 2 ....!!!!!!well i havent reached succha high point ....bt ya i cn say i would have ....Im still trying to do all the right things to save my ship from sinking....I think i have given sacrifice a new meaning ...i have never been super selfless and worldly ...ever....but for the first time in my life i have literally felt like putting everything on stake just for one *moronic craziee super blonde jerk* ....!!!!!i wont say IM IN LOVE or any crap like that ....cause i am no one to define the boundraries on love...and i am sure love is not this ...cause what i have read of it ...love is meant to be beautiful and sacred ...this *out of mind and body experience* is neither of the 2 ....haha ...actually its far from that...its ugly and negative...jealous and suspicious...!!!!!It has made me see a whole new aspect of my ever changing persona...!!!But whatever this feeling is ...it is compelling me to change...to try and do things that some other IDOT whats me to do...it is making me evolve...!!!hahah..i guess by the end of this entire LIFE CHANGING PROCESS...i will be a lil less hyper ...more clear and a lil more understanding of circumstances and how to react 2 them ...than before...!!!!!well that is for time to tell and me to desipher...!!!!!
apart frm my crises situation that has entered in my lifes twisted tale....there are other big things happening for everyone in my family...my mom is on a high ...it seems like she is floating on a differnt plant of CONSCIOUSNESS...and m super happie for her ....!!!!!my dad on the other hand is finally going to complete his *dream project* so hes on sum other planet....
the onli person who is lying low at the moment is me ...and i cnt even show it ....cause m supposed to be the ETERNALLY EXCITED IN LIFE drama queen...!!!!so well as i wear my mask and play my role ....u go try and find where the real you lies...:)...!!!!!love and light ...

FROM DARK TO THE LIGHT :!!!!!!!!

How often is it that u have felt ...!!!!!what is this life if full of care ...we have no time to stand and stare..!!!!hahaha...well if u were part of this mad mess that i call BMM this thought would not even have the time to cross yur mind....sooooo all the CRAZIEENESS of the upcoming exams ...realli got to us ..(my classmates and i)...since none of us realli had the time or inclination to study during the ongoing semester....which was packed wid projects..and festivals and random other *amazing* experiences i will not divulge into ...!!!!!!sooooooo 1 week prior to the D-day ...i tell myself *u have to strt studying ....its far toooo late bt time has come u do some damage control*..however ME being the stubborn...self obsessed ..and super overconfident bout my supposedly superhuman capabilities freak that i am ...did not listen to this suggestion that my practical self gave..and i waited for the last nite be4 the exam to acctually open the books....!!!!!!ovio apart from my STUPIDITY .....the extreme pain and suffering that life was inflicting on me for no fault of mine did not exactly help keep my mind focused since my soul and heartbeat was rotting in some other planet in the deep dark alter universe i call *hollow land*...!!!!!i was living but was not breathing..... i was laughing but i could not feel the warmth .....i was crying but i could not feel the tears spilling down my face....!!!!!I was literally ZOMBIEFIED for a week and a half....in the middle of this creepy zombieness came the exams....hahahaha...well i cn say that no one could notice the change in me since everyone in my superexcited supercharged world were also in a low phrase since most of us *opened our books after almost 7 months ....feeling that our brains have forgotten to grasp information*....bt i guess the human brain did not fail us...!!!!!the papers as usual were WTF....bt hopefuly we shall OVERCOME ...:P.....semester 1 is drawing to a closure tomorro wid our practicles ...!!!!!!!soooooo apart from that celebration of crossing a milestone ....i am also celebrating the return of *normality*.....the storm that flooded my head and heart for the last 10 dayz has also passed and now everything is back to the way it was....hopefuly it will remain like this for a long long time before i have to pass another obstacle examination...!!!!:P:P:P.....sooooooo as i enter a new *old* pharse of life and opportunities....u go and look for one thing that u have achieved or overcome in the past month......!!!!!!till next time...that the sun shines ...xoxo...cheers :P

the- fuk ur head feeling -called loveeeeeeee...!!!!

As i lie here ....all i can think of is "him"...his touch ...his gentleness ...his hands caressing me .....the presence of his lips still lingering on mine....his fragrance i can still feel in my pillow...!!!!!!!!!!and all i can say to myself is WTF ...dude wake up ....is THIS U !!!????Sometimes in life u loose urself unknowingly .....and then one day when u least expect it BANG!!!it suddenly strikes u that all those talks of never fallin for a weird typically blonde specie of the opposite sex were just TALKS and nothing more ...and by then its tooooooo late...u already in the deep dark dungens of the fuking worldly feeling called love.....and the way out has been blocked by the frozen ice in ur head.....!!!!ur stuck there ....u are eating...sleeping...breathing ....just for that one bloody blood-mind-soul sucking being that has become the prime motive of ur exsistence....!!!!!arghh..!!!!!how cn u let someone rule u .....how cn u give urself away .....how cn u keep anyone at the pinnacle of ur happiness ...!!!!!!HOW....????????????

as i try to reason wid my self .....and find the answers that mankind is yet to discover .....u go have some popcorn...seeya..:)

BACK from the dead!!!

i know i know.....i have been conspicious by my absence...Have been in hibernation mode ..bt well that dosnt mean tht i have not been PAINTING THE TOWN red ...black and pink...!!!!These 2 months have gone past me and have been the beginning to many stories that will unfold in the future ...!!!Some stories had a short shelf life while some i *hope* last a lil longer..!!!My baby brother met me after 9 years and i had an amazing time getting to know the fascinating human he has become...(olthough i would never admit that to him) ....He introduced me to a part of me that i never knew exsisted ...the *protective sister * in me..!!!!Having always been the baby eveywhere being pampered and spoilt by everyone i never thought i would ever have the *motherly instinct * in me!!!!He taught me that i could also be patient and even if u have not met one another fr ages at the end of the he is my BABY brother n i will always love him no matter what:)....Another important aspect of my whirlwind life is the Craziness and madness of BMM and the different species and situations i encounter every time the sun shines on me ...!!!!i have a complain to god ...plzzz give people in the media industry 48 hrs in the day !! 24 hrs seems like a blink and miss phenomenon !! another issue i have is wid the stupid streak that all girls possess....even someone like me ...its called tht FUKING ATTACHMENT STREAK !!! why the hell cant girls also *chuck the *face * and *fuk the basE*....why do we have the feelings and all that crap that chase us till we say *he was just not that into me*....time to move on!!!!!!As a 16 yr old i had these weird absurd concepts i had coined for myself....*mental committment * and *purity * and all that jazz...!!!!!Now as i edge towards Official adulthood and maturity * the real picture* is soo much more clear>.....!!!!!Lucily i olso MOVED on wid *life* be4 i actually turned 18...*the person in question is of least relevance * just the MOMENTS are what count >>>>(right)...!!!!heheheheeheh...:P.....I olso lived my dream of singing wid a band ...and made some awsomeee memories that will last me a lifetime....!!!!Work....life....love...dance....fights...tiffs...tears....giggles....and all that makes a persons life worth living are the key ingredients to my wholesome platter ....!!!at the moment i am in a mixed state of mind want to just go HOLIDAY ...!!!:P...tomorro last presentation for a semester ....a chap over and a new one begins...!!!!some elements just get carried ....!!!!!so">forward@!!!!*hopefully*>....!!!!!so anyway till the sun shines....!!!!CHEERS ..love and light :P

NEW phrase...!!!

Good morning....UMMM...good evening...!!!!i donno maybe this time of the day is called nite...!!i have absolutely no idea which time zone my body clock is following ....bt all i know is that i am now feeling sleep deprived and extremely restless....i know these are completely contrasting emotions ..bt well normality is not sumthing that i believe in ..!!!!The reason for my ABnormal zombieeness is my hyperactive brain that does not believe in sleeping and NOT thinking for once....It is IN action 24/7 ...initially i luved being on my toes all the time but now its starting to frustrate me ...cauz either i am thinking or i am working on my thoughts ...The ME time tht i always had in plenty has now suddenly vanished in thin air....Now its all bout projects ...innovative out of the box ideas ....and projecting those ideas to the best of my capability ....AS some very *WISE* people had warned me ...u have to put a stop to expecting a lott from urself or ull never be satisfied and if u aint satisfied u will never move on from one stage to another cauz u ll strive for prefection only for tht one milestone and maybe miss out on the zillion other opportunites that came knocking while u were working on that miniscule detail that would make things RIGHT for u ...!!!!!!sooooooooo i have decided to pay heed to tht advice and COOL down ....cauz if i dnt then i am goin to perish very soon and not even live to reach the *PINNACLE*.....!!!:).....now as i wait for the clock to strike 12 and gt my lil brother frm the airport ...and try and not be nervous bout tomorro presentation ...u go and TAKE a break ..:) cheers...love and light